Ambushed by Grace – Tamar in the Family Tree

Scripture: Genesis 38 and Matthew 1: 1-3

Sermon: Ambushed by Grace – Tamar in the Family Tree

Topics: Scandal, Tamar, Ambush

Preached: November 28, 2004

Rev. Mike Abma

GENESIS 38

It happened at that time that Judah went down from his brothers and settled near a certain Adullamite whose name was Hirah.²There Judah saw the daughter of a certain Canaanite whose name was Shua; he married her and went in to her. ³She conceived and bore a son; and he named him Er. ⁴Again she conceived and bore a son whom she named Onan. ⁵Yet again she bore a son, and she named him Shelah. Shewas in Chezib when she bore him. ⁶Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn; her name was Tamar. ⁷But Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the Lord, and the Lord put him to death. ⁸Then Judah said to Onan, ‘Go in to your brother’s wife and perform the duty of a brother-in-law to her; raise up offspring for your brother.’ ⁹But since Onan knew that the offspring would not be his, he spilled his semen on the ground whenever he went in to his brother’s wife, so that he would not give offspring to his brother. ¹⁰What he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord, and he put him to death also. ¹¹Then Judah said to his daughter-in-law Tamar, ‘Remain a widow in your father’s house until my son Shelah grows up’—for he feared that he too would die, like his brothers. So Tamar went to live in her father’s house.

12 In course of time the wife of Judah, Shua’s daughter, died; when Judah’s time of mourning was over, he went up to Timnah to his sheep-shearers, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite. ¹³When Tamar was told, ‘Your father-in-law is going up to Timnah to shear his sheep’, ¹⁴she put off her widow’s garments, put on a veil, wrapped herself up, and sat down at the entrance to Enaim, which is on the road to Timnah. She saw that Shelah was grown up, yet she had not been given to him in marriage.¹⁵When Judah saw her, he thought her to be a prostitute, for she had covered her face. ¹⁶He went over to her at the roadside, and said, ‘Come, let me come in to you’, for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law. She said, ‘What will you give me, that you may come in to me?’ ¹⁷He answered, ‘I will send you a kid from the flock.’ And she said, ‘Only if you give me a pledge, until you send it.’ ¹⁸He said, ‘What pledge shall I give you?’ She replied, ‘Your signet and your cord, and the staff that is in your hand.’ So he gave them to her, and went in to her, and she conceived by him. ¹⁹Then she got up and went away, and taking off her veil she put on the garments of her widowhood.

20 When Judah sent the kid by his friend the Adullamite, to recover the pledge from the woman, he could not find her. ²¹He asked the townspeople, ‘Where is the temple prostitute who was at Enaim by the wayside?’ But they said, ‘No prostitute has been here.’ ²²So he returned to Judah, and said, ‘I have not found her; moreover, the townspeople said, “No prostitute has been here.” ’ ²³Judah replied, ‘Let her keep the things as her own, otherwise we will be laughed at; you see, I sent this kid, and you could not find her.’

24 About three months later Judah was told, ‘Your daughter-in-law Tamar has played the whore; moreover she is pregnant as a result of whoredom.’ And Judah said, ‘Bring her out, and let her be burned.’ ²⁵As she was being brought out, she sent word to her father-in-law, ‘It was the owner of these who made me pregnant.’ And she said, ‘Take note, please, whose these are, the signet and the cord and the staff.’ ²⁶Then Judah acknowledged them and said, ‘She is more in the right than I, since I did not give her to my son Shelah.’ And he did not lie with her again.

27 When the time of her delivery came, there were twins in her womb.²⁸While she was in labour, one put out a hand; and the midwife took and bound on his hand a crimson thread, saying, ‘This one came out first.’²⁹But just then he drew back his hand, and out came his brother; and she said, ‘What a breach you have made for yourself!’ Therefore he was named Perez. ³⁰Afterwards his brother came out with the crimson thread on his hand; and he was named Zerah.

This is the Word of the Lord

Thanks be to God

INTRODUCTION – Reputation

Chitra Divakaruni’s novel, Sister of My Heart, is about two cousins bound by despair and hope. They were born on the same day, but that was also the day each of them had lost their father. So they grow up in the same household being raised more like sisters than cousins. When it is time for them to marry, their mothers make a long search for an acceptable match for each of them. They are from a respectable family with little money, so they need to find respectable families that do not demand a dowry.

Finally a suitable match is found for one of the girls – from the Majumdar family. When the Majumdar family visits, the patriarch of the family, Mr. Majumdar, makes it very clear what is most important to him:

A good reputation has always meant more to me than all the money in the world. That’s why I broke off talks with other families. We found out there was always some old scandal in the family – like secret relationships and pregnancies of unmarried girls. I am not going to be associated with any of THAT!”^[1]

TAMAR in the FAMILY TREE

Matthew 1 gives the genealogy of Jesus.

It is his family tree.

We know the names: Abraham was the father of Isaac;

Isaac was the father of Jacob;

Jacob was the father of Judah and his brothers;

And Judah the father of Perez and Zerah by

Tamar…

Tamar.

Tamar is the first woman to be mentioned in Jesus’ family tree.

And because we have just heard Genesis 38 read, we can’t help but

stumble over THAT.

Why would Matthew make it a point to include Tamar’s name?

Why does Matthew draw attention to this scandalous story right there

at the beginning of the family tree?

A story of death and deceit, a story that seems to have very little that

is noble or pure, admirable or praiseworthy.

We might feel a little like Mr. Majumdar.

This is Thanksgiving weekend, after all.

This is the first Sunday of Advent.

This is a time for family, for stories rated G not R.

What are we doing uncovering this dark little secret of Jesus’ past?

Time to move onto something more wholesome and sweet,

than this story which is strange and sordid.

It is interesting that the word “scandal” originally referred to the little piece of wood that held a trap open. Trip, or stumble, or jar that piece of wood, and you are caught.

In reading this story, the piece of wood has been tripped,

the cat is out of the bag,

the secret is out of the closet,

and the scandal is there for all of us to see.

So what do we do with it?

A CLOSER LOOK AT THE STORY

Let’s go over the story one more time.

Judah is the 4rth son of Jacob.

Jacob, you may remember, was the one who deceived his old and blind father Isaac to get the blessing.

Then, years later, Judah and his brothers, put a bloody robe on Jacob’s lap and deceived their father into thinking Joseph was dead.

Now this Judah moved into Canaanite territory and marries a Canaanite wife.

They have 3 sons: Er, Onan, and Shelah.

They arrange for Er to marry a Canaanite girl named Tamar.

They marry.

But Er dies young, leaving Tamar a childless widow.

Few situations were more desperate than that of a childless widow.

So to make sure childless widows were not totally abandoned or rejected, tradition called for her to be given as a wife to her husband’s brother. Any children she had with this brother would then carry on the name of the first husband. It was a way that you literally served as your brother’s keeper.

In keeping with this tradition, Tamar was given to the next brother,

Onan.

But Onan made sure that he didn’t have any children with Tamar.

Why not?

Because any of Tamar’s children would be considered his deceased

brother’s and not his.

Soon, Onan dies an untimely death as well.

This leaves only one son left, Shelah.

Judah is all too aware of this.

He is thinking that if he loses Shelah too, his family is finished, ended.

If Shelah dies, he won’t have a family tree, it will be a family stick.

Judah knows how to deceive, so he tells Tamar a lie.

So he says to Tamar that Shelah is too young to marry so why don’t you go home to your own family until Shelah gets older.

But going home is a form of rejection and abandonment.

Clearly Judah doesn’t even want her around – she belongs more to her old family than her new one.

Tamar obeys. She returns home and waits.

How long?

Well, we are told that after a very long time, Judah’s wife dies.

It was all long enough for Judah to forget he had a daughter-in-law: out of sight, out of mind.

All this time Tamar has been wearing the clothes of a widow and waiting.

What is she waiting for?

She is waiting for what is rightfully hers.

She is waiting for the opportunity to be a mother.

She is waiting to be welcomed back into the family.

Now she decides to do something deceiving.

She changes out of her widow’s clothes, puts on something more alluring, and sits beside the road to wait for Judah to pass by.

Judah sees her but doesn’t see her – it has been so long he doesn’t recognize his own daughter-in-law.

He has forgotten her so completely, he thinks she is a prostitute, and he propositions her.

She asks, “What’s in it for me?”

“I’ll send a goat.”

“Yeah, right” she answers, “Let’s have collateral.”

“What do you want”

“Let’s have your seal, your cord and your staff – in other words, all the ID you’re carrying – your drivers license, your credit card, and your social security card.”

“Okay” says Judah.

And his eagerness to hand over all his ID to feed a hunger, is not so far from the hungry Esau trading his birthright for a bowl of soup.

Later, Jacob is eager to get his ID back. But too embarrassed to go himself, he sends his friend, Hirah, with the promised goat to find the woman. But Hirah can’t find her and Judah is too embarrassed to ask too many questions.

Time again passes … at least three months go by.

Then Judah gets shocking news: “Tamar is a prostitute. She’s 3 months pregnant!”

The shame averse Judah in just two Hebrew words says: “Out…Burn.”

But out come the seal, the cord, and the staff, and Judah burns with shame.

And in the words that become the hinge of this story he says,

“She is more righteous than I.”

Why?

He lied but so did she?

Yes, but in this first clear acknowledgement of unrighteousness in the book of Genesis,

Judah admits that his offense against Tamar

is greater than her offense against him.

Judah is forced to face the truth – he has fulfilled the role that his son Shelah should have filled.

AMBUSHED BY TRUTH….and GRACE

Judah is ambushed – by the truth, but also by grace.

For Tamar will move back into the household of Judah.

She will eventually gives birth to twins: Perez and Zerah.

And Perez and Zerah will carry on the name and blessing of the tribe of Judah.

We know this because when Jacob’s whole family moves to Egypt and is listed in Genesis 46, Perez and Zerah are mentioned as sons of Judah who go to Egypt as well.

In fact, Perez and Zerah become the hope of Judah.

They save the line of Judah from dying out.

Where Judah was ready for death, God allowed for life.

That is what happens when we’re ambushed by grace.

The stream of promise that flows from Abraham to Isaac to Jacob to Judah,

does not flow through Er, or Onan, or Shelah.

but it flows through Tamar,

it flows through this scandalous pregnancy,

of this unwed mother.

So blessed is Tamar among women.

Blessed are the children you will bear.

For from your womb will come Perez,

And from Perez, Hezron, and from Hezron, eventually David,

And from David, eventually Jesus,

from another scandalous pregnancy

of another unwed mother.

WE ARE ALL TOUCHED BY SCANDAL

Mr. Majumdar would be shocked to know that every family is touched by scandal.

A great, great, great grandparent who owned or traded slaves.

A great grandparent who collaborated with the Nazi’s.

A parent, who had an affair.

Every family has enough tears in its story to float a ship.

Enough scandal to warrant walking around

with ear permanently burning red.

Every family needs help. Even more so, every family needs hope.

Advent is a season of waiting.

We wait with people like Tamar –

not well-fed, well-adjusted, well-balanced people –

but the forgotten, abandoned, desperate people

who are at the end of their rope.

We wait praying, “How long, Lord, how long?”

But we do not wait without hope.

We know who we are waiting for.

We are waiting for the one

who uses the weak of the world to shame the strong;

Who uses the foolish of the world to shame the wise.

We are waiting, waiting to be ambushed

by the child in the womb,

by the corpse in the tomb.

Amen.

1. Chitra Divakaruni, Sisters of My Heart, p. 124. ↑