Scripture: Genesis 37: 25-28 and Genesis 44: 14-34
Sermon: Sibling Rivalry; Sibling Reconciliation
Topics: Rivalry, Reconciliation, Siblings
Preached: September 12, 2010 pm
Rev. Mike Abma
Preamble: The character in this story that I would like to focus on this evening is Judah. What kind of person was he at the beginning of this story? What kind of person was he at the end? And what does this tell us about reconciliation?
Genesis 37: 25-28
25 (just after Joseph had been thrown into a pit by his brothers)
Then they sat down to eat; and looking up they saw a caravan of Ishmaelites coming from Gilead, with their camels carrying gum, balm, and resin, on their way to carry it down to Egypt. 26Then Judah said to his brothers, ‘What profit is there if we kill our brother and conceal his blood? 27Come, let us sell him to the Ishmaelites, and not lay our hands on him, for he is our brother, our own flesh.’ And his brothers agreed. 28When some Midianite traders passed by, they drew Joseph up, lifting him out of the pit, and sold him to the Ishmaelites for twenty pieces of silver. And they took Joseph to Egypt.
Genesis 44: 14-34
14 (Just after a silver cup had been discovered at the top of Benjamin’s sack of grain).
Judah and his brothers came to Joseph’s house while he was still there; and they fell to the ground before him. 15Joseph said to them, ‘What deed is this that you have done? Do you not know that one such as I can practise divination?’ 16And Judah said, ‘What can we say to my lord? What can we speak? How can we clear ourselves? God has found out the guilt of your servants; here we are then, my lord’s slaves, both we and also the one in whose possession the cup has been found.’ 17But he said, ‘Far be it from me that I should do so! Only the one in whose possession the cup was found shall be my slave; but as for you, go up in peace to your father.’
18 Then Judah stepped up to him and said, ‘O my lord, let your servant please speak a word in my lord’s ears, and do not be angry with your servant; for you are like Pharaoh himself. 19My lord asked his servants, saying, “Have you a father or a brother?” 20And we said to my lord, “We have a father, an old man, and a young brother, the child of his old age. His brother is dead; he alone is left of his mother’s children, and his father loves him.” 21Then you said to your servants, “Bring him down to me, so that I may set my eyes on him.” 22We said to my lord, “The boy cannot leave his father, for if he should leave his father, his father would die.” 23Then you said to your servants, “Unless your youngest brother comes down with you, you shall see my face no more.” 24When we went back to your servant my father we told him the words of my lord. 25And when our father said, “Go again, buy us a little food”, 26we said, “We cannot go down. Only if our youngest brother goes with us, will we go down; for we cannot see the man’s face unless our youngest brother is with us.” 27Then your servant my father said to us, “You know that my wife bore me two sons; 28one left me, and I said, Surely he has been torn to pieces; and I have never seen him since. 29If you take this one also from me, and harm comes to him, you will bring down my grey hairs in sorrow to Sheol.” 30Now therefore, when I come to your servant my father and the boy is not with us, then, as his life is bound up in the boy’s life, 31when he sees that the boy is not with us, he will die; and your servants will bring down the grey hairs of your servant our father with sorrow to Sheol. 32For your servant became surety for the boy to my father, saying, “If I do not bring him back to you, then I will bear the blame in the sight of my father all my life.” 33Now therefore, please let your servant remain as a slave to my lord in place of the boy; and let the boy go back with his brothers. 34For how can I go back to my father if the boy is not with me? I fear to see the suffering that would come upon my father.’
THIS IS THE WORD OF THE LORD
THANKS BE TO GOD
INTRODUCTION
One of the seminary students I know was telling us about his young children. Their oldest is a girl, and when she was around 3, they were expecting their second child. Someone had advised them to get a baby doll for their daughter so that when the baby came, Mommy could have a baby, and she could have a baby.
Well the child was born – a baby brother.
Mom and Dad came home from the hospital.
And there were Grandma and Grandpa waiting at home with the older sister and her doll.
The parents came into the house, and said, “Look, your new brother!”
The grandparents beamed with joy,
but little girl scowled.
She then slammed her doll to the floor, and exclaimed, “Let’s sell him, like Joseph.”
The Seminarian concluded by telling me, “Learning Bible stories can be s dangerous thing.”
SIBLING RIVALRY — THEN
There are lots of examples of sibling rivalry in the Bible.
But few are as well known as this one.
Father Jacob had this annoying habit of playing favorites.
He had his favorite wife, Rachel.
Even though Leah bore him 6 sons,
even though Leah kept hoping,
kept praying,
kept believing that one day
Jacob’s eyes would light up when she entered the room,
Jacob always favored Rachel.
And Jacob always favored Rachel’s children: Joseph and the Benjamin.
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish have written a book, a parenting book, called Siblings Without Rivalry. In this book, they set out three clear parenting commandments:
1. Don’t Compare Your Kids
2. Don’t Play Favorites
3. Enforce Civility
Jacob broke every one of these commandments.
He gave Joseph a special coat.
He let Joseph go on and on about his dreams:
about his brothers, in fact the whole family, bowing down to him.
And Jacob seemed oblivious to the fact that the brothers
could not say one blessed good thing about their spoiled brat brother Joseph.
The brothers hated Joseph.
It is one thing to fight and scrap when you are kids.
I know I fought with my younger brother all the time —
every day, I think, until we got to the age when we could really hurt each other, around 13 or so.
But even then, if anyone tried pick a fight or bully my brother,
I was the first one rushing to his defense.
I was allowed to beat him up — he was my brother.
But no one else was allowed.
Things were different in Jacob’s family.
These were not young boys.
These were men.
When Joseph comes meandering towards them in his flowing coat,
he is 17 years old.
His sheep-herding brothers are all older, some probably already married.
They wanted to kill Joseph, the text says.
The oldest brother, Reuben, calms things down and says,
“Hey, no shedding blood.”
What Reuben wanted to do was get Joseph back to his dad unharmed.
So they throw Joseph in a pit until they figure out what to do to him.
It is Judah who comes up with the brainstorm to sell him as a slave.
“Let’s at least make a few bucks off this guy!”
So the deed is done.
Joseph is sold.
And the brothers bring the coat, stained in goat’s blood,
back to their dad, making it look like Joseph met an untimely death.
SIBLING RIVALRY — NOW
An article in TIME magazine notes that
over 10% of siblings are estranged from each other;
over 15% describe their relationship with at least one sibling as hostile.
Why is that?
There are a host of reasons.
Usually there is some kind of built up resentment,
Some kind of feud that never got cleared up.
Some kind of misunderstanding that never was resolved.
Some kind of hurt that never was healed.
A powerful book that speaks about sibling estrangement is Ian McEwan’s novel Atonement. In this novel there are two sisters: Briony Tallis who is 13, and her older sister, Cecelia, who is almost 20. Cecelia is starting to fall in love with a boy named Robbie Turner, a boy Briony happens to have a crush on too. Well, as the novel unfolds, Briony tells a lie about Robbie — a lie that she convinced herself was true, but a lie, nonetheless. The lie has crushing consequences. Robbie ends up in prison. And Cecelia, ends up hating her little sister.
That wound lingers throughout the whole novel.
As Briony gets older, she realizes the gravity of what she has done.
She tries to apologize.
But the wound is too deep.
The damage too lasting.
Atonement, and reconciliation seem impossible.
Reconciliation is never quick or easy.
It always takes time and comes at a cost.
SIBLING RECONCILIATION
We now jump ahead in the Judah and Joseph story over 20 years.
Joseph is no longer a slave but the governor or Prime Minister of Egypt.
And the brothers have come to Egypt to beg:
to beg for food, for grain, for something to survive the famine.
Joseph recognizes his brothers.
The brothers do not recognize Joseph.
All they see is an Egyptian ruler,
wearing Egyptian clothes
and speaking the Egyptian language.
The brothers end up coming to Egypt twice.
The first time Joseph accuses them of being spies.
They say they are innocent shepherds.
Joseph says, “Prove it. Where are you from? What is your family like?”
They say their father is old,
they have one younger brother at home,
and one brother who already passed away.
Joseph gives them grain on the condition that if they ever come back,
they must take their little brother with them.
Time marches on, and eventually they do come back.
And Father Jacob reluctantly allows them to take Benjamin,
the new-favored son.
He allows Benjamin to go mainly because
Judah promises to protect him.
On the second visit of the brothers to Egypt,
things begin very well.
Joseph throws a banquet for them.
They eat, and are surprised they are seated in order of age,
And curious, rather than annoyed,
that Benjamin is served way more food than the rest.
Before they know it,
they are on their way home
loaded with sacks of grain.
Suddenly some Egyptian soldiers come chasing after them.
“Thieves!” they yell, “We treat you well and you steal from us!”
The brothers protest: “We didn’t steal. If anyone has stolen, you may put that person to death.”
Of course, they did not know that Joseph had planted a silver cup in Benjamin’s bag.
The silver cup is found.
All the brothers return to Egypt to face punishment.
But Joseph says,
“No, only the one with the cup will be punished.
He will be my slave.
The rest of you can go.”
This is when Judah steps up,
approaches Joseph,
and makes a heartfelt plea.
The heartfelt plea is astonishing, breath-taking really,
considering what had happened 25 years earlier.
Twenty five years earlier,
Judah resented his father,
resented how poorly his dad treated his mom and his brothers,
and how well his dad treated Rachel, and her kids Joseph and Benjamin.
It just was not FAIR!
Now…now it is clear that Judah loved his father.
His father still had his favorites.
But Judah is now able to accept that, even forgive that.
Judah is unwilling to see his father suffer the loss of another son.
Twenty five years earlier,
Judah couldn’t stand his spoiled brother, Joseph.
He was happy to see his brother sold into slavery.
Now, here he is with another spoiled brother, Benjamin.
As far as he and his brothers know,
Benjamin is guilty of taking this cup.
Benjamin has put them all in great danger.
And yet, Judah is willing to take Benjamin’s punishment.
Though innocent, Judah is willing to be considered guilty.
Though innocent, Judah is willing to sacrifice himself
to atone for the sin of his younger brother.
He is willing to pay the great price of his liberty, even his life,
for the brother who seemed to get everything in life.
He is willing to become the slave
so that Benjamin can go free.
He is willing to be considered dead,
so that Benjamin can live.
The change in Judah is truly remarkable.
Where did it come from?
I don’t know, for sure.
I do know that at this point in his life, Judah knew what grief felt like.
He had already lost two of his sons and his wife.
He didn’t want his father to lose two sons as well.
Judah also knew that though he was innocent of stealing the silver cup,
he was not an innocent man.
He knew that selling Joseph years ago was wrong.
He knew the way he had mistreated his daughter-in-law Tamar, was wrong.
He knew he was far from an innocent man.
Truth.
Love.
Humility.
These were the three things that now characterized this changed Judah.
Truth: Judah tells Joseph the whole truth. He has nothing to hide.
Love: In spite of the unfairness,
in spite of the favoritism
Judah clearly loves his father
and he loves his brother Benjamin too.
Humility: And lastly, humility.
Judah is willing to put others ahead of himself.
He is willing to look to the interest of others over himself.
He is able to look to the interest of his father, of Benjamin, and even his other brothers, ahead of his own interest.
And a thing we should not forget
Is that Judah is willing to do this
before an Egyptian ruler
who, as far as Judah is concerned, is a pagan —
a worshipper of false gods.
This is Judah’s weakest hour and yet it is his finest hour.
His truth, his love, his humility
make reconciliation between these brothers possible.
And in his finest hour,
he looks remarkably like the descendant who one day
will be born of his line, of his tribe, of his lineage.
RECONCILIATION
You read the newspapers.
I read the newspapers.
You watch television.
I watch television.
We know the type of world we live in:
We know we live in a loud world.
People are quick to rant, to rave,
to shout, to demonstrate.
We know we live in a tense world.
People are quick to prod and poke,
to put-down and provoke.
We know we live in an unfair world.
People are quick to demand their rights,
their freedoms, their interests.
But we followers of Christ are supposed to live a different life.
We do not live for ourselves.
We live for the one who died for us and was raised for us,
The one who gave his innocence in exchange for our guilt,
Who gave his freedom in exchange for our slavery.
He did all of this
to reconcile us to God,
and so that we might live that reconciliation with others.
Slandering those we disagree with is not gospel work.
Shaming those we do not like is not gospel work.
Protesting that we are always getting the short end of the stick is not gospel work.
What is gospel work?
Walking the way of truth,
The way of love,
The way of humility — that is gospel work.
Always walking in the direction of reconciliation — that is gospel work.
And we walk this way,
whether we are speaking to family members
we have known for a very long time
or whether we are speaking with people we think of as pagans —
worshippers of false gods.
Amen
0 Comments